Comedy Stop: What Would Alex Keaton Do? – Campaign Stops Blog – NYTimes.com.
Because I like my American politics with a heaping side of ’80s sitcom nostalgia. I now throw down the gauntlet for someone in Canada to decide “What Would Joey Jeremiah Do?”
[Editor's note: I think I wrote this in June. The online dating thing didn't work out this time around. It's not a bad thing. My current situation is... not really something I can comment on at this point.]
So, I’m trying the online dating thing again. And I’m sorry, but it’s REALLY hard to not be judgmental. I’m not even talking about the pictures. Because really, pretty boys have never really done it for me anyway.
OK, I lied. There will be some discussion of the pictures.
But first. Seriously, is it SO hard to spell check (or ask someone to proofread) before you post your profile? I mean, I know words are my thing and I’m sort of a snob about it, but come ON. “Looking for that special women”? Seriously?
Also, how do you expect to meet your so-called soulmate (yep, the word is STILL ruined, thanks, Dawson’s Creek) with a two-sentence profile that’s in all caps. I want to know something about you. How else am I going to compare you to my man-shopping list? I’ll admit, it’s a weird way to look for love, but there’s gotta be something in your profile that piques my interest. Because looks only take you so far, and I want to be in something for the long haul, not just until you get hair plugs.
I’m using a free site this time around, and I’ve noticed that a lot of the dudes will just send you a message like “Hi”. Really? That’s all you could come up with? I mean, thanks for thinking I’m attractive enough to contact, but if you are too damn lazy to take the time to read my profile and maybe even reference something from it in a message, why should I spend my time writing back to you?
And, please have a picture. When I first tried this online thing forever ago, I was pretty wary of putting up a picture. Trust me, it’s worse when they see you in real life and discover that while you may have clicked in online chatting, they’re not attracted to you in the least. And really, you’re not so much into them either. Save everyone the time. Put up a picture.
Actually, scratch that. Put up a GOOD picture. Even take one specifically for the purpose of being your profile picture, and keep taking snapshots until you find one you really like. Wear a nice shirt. Wash your hair. Don’t post a group photo of you and some buddies at a bachelor party — how am I supposed to know if you’re the ugly guy or the really hot one? Or worse, that dude in the back who looks like he’s gonna hurl. Please, don’t include pictures with your ex-girlfriend cropped or blacked out, and webcam shots basically scream “Hey Dateline, put me on ‘To Catch a Predator’!” And please, if you’re going to scan in a photo, learn how to set up your scanner so it crops properly.
Do all that, and maybe we can bond over our shared love of Kevin Smith movies and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia sooner rather than later.
[Editor's Note: I'm cleaning out my 'Drafts' folder. So, you're gonna read some things out of order. This post, for example is from June.]
So, the popularity of “The Secret” and the law of attraction can be directly related to the power of Oprah. However, it’s been around for years, and is no secret. In fact, thanks to The Artist’s Way and Conversations with God, they’re concepts that I’ve known about for years (and that’s all thanks to a friend of mine). Of course, they’re not necessarily concepts I’ve believed in all that much. Otherwise, my life would be much different right now. I guess, though, there’s an argument to the fact that the things I’ve asked the universe for don’t really fit the storyline of my life.
Yes, I’m considering this all in a very writerly fashion. That’s because breaking things down into stories is what I do. That’s who I am. And that epiphany is what’s driving my current upswing into believing this whole “The Universe is listening” thing again, like it’s some kind of esoteric THX.
Why am I on this bandwagon again? Because a couple of weeks ago, I realized just how unhappy I am in my life. Just, supremely and totally underwhelmed. Hours after I realized that and decided that this unhappiness was instead a massive opportunity, I stumbled across the blog of a TV writer. She’d recently posted some insider info about a writing fellowship I’d considered applying to years before, but had ruled out based on its price. Except now it’s free. And the deadline is in a few short weeks. So, I took that to be a sign and committed myself to a few weeks of craziness while I attempt to write two sitcom spec scripts. We’ll see what happens come October.
[Hi, me again. It turns out I only wrote one script for the application -- a spec episode of Scrubs. Yeah, yeah, call it overdone, it's the show that called to me.]
Or, GETS me running, more accurately. Recently, I was challenged by a co-worker to take part in the CIBC Run for the Cure. It’s a 5k run in downtown Toronto each year to combat Breast Cancer. And since I happen to have breasts and would like to keep them healthy, I figured it was an apt cause.
There’s just one little snag. I’m not a runner. Partially because the pair of breasts I do own can make running a little bit painful, and mostly because I’m a giant lazy ass. I have less than 1 month to be able to tackle this. Now, a 5k is nowhere near as daunting as a marathon, or a half marathon. In fact, I’m sure I could complete a mostly-walking 5k with no problems at all. But why not use this opportunity as a way to get myself in gear? Especially when I’ve got a vacation coming up, where I’ll get to run in Central Park. So, I’ve bought some fancy new running shoes, and am easing into interval training.
Seriously, the things I’ve done in the past few weeks are making me wonder just who I am.
Remember when you had Neapolitan ice cream as a kid, and you’d stir it to mix up all the flavors? Well, add some bananas and walnuts, and you’ve got the awesomeness that is Ben & Jerry’s Banana Split ice cream, which is now firmly in my top three Ben & Jerry’s flavors. It’s so good. Perfect comfort food. Which, sadly, I’ve needed a lot of lately.