ampersand

Es-cap-ay!

I am lucky enough to work at a company that has summer hours. Which means that as of 1 pm on Friday, the weekend begins. This past Friday, the weekend began with a trip to IKEA. Alongside my friend Rachel, we hopped in a Ford Escape and headed for the wilds of North York.

Accessing the Zipcars was a bit of an ordeal. The Escape was parked in a very non-descript Midtown parking garage that didn’t seem to be attached to a building. To get in, we walked down the ramp and stood on the cable cars must drive over to gain access.

The garage was nearly empty, so finding the Escape was no challenge. We hopped in and hit the road.

I learned to drive in an SUV, so being up high enough to REALLY see traffic was a welcome memory. I think that the improved sight might be one of the myriad reasons SUVs are (were?) such strong sellers. It’s a much better vantage point than a car.

Something that took getting used to? The turning radius. The Escape is incapable of making hairpin turns, as expected. I forgot how cumbersome even a small SUV can be when facing city traffic. I missed the confident zip of the Mazda 3.

Of course, SUVs are hailed for their cargo space. And that’s why we took the Escape on this journey. I was surprised to find, then, that the MALM headboard I’d purchased barely fit in the back of Escape, with both seats folded completely flat. I’ll have to double check, but I think the Mazda 3 could have handled the MALM.

Didn’t get a chance to take Escape on the highway. Instead, we piloted through construction-plagued city streets, including “oh my god are we gonna fit” one way streets lined with parked cars.

Overall, the Escape was all right. Not terrible, not awesome. It doesn’t particularly correspond to my lifestyle, and I think that’s an important lesson to learn — I’d been considering a Chevrolet Equinox, and now I know an SUV is just too much vehicle for how I live my life.

Next trip to IKEA, I think I want to try a station wagon. But the next Zipcar confessional will be about the ubiquitous Honda Civic.

Fading summer

Somehow, summer got away from me. This isn’t going to be one of those posts wailing about the wet, cool weather we’ve had this year — bring that weather on year-round. What I can’t understand is how it feels like summer never happened. No frivolous afternoons spent drinking on a patio, no lazy days at the park, no hot and sultry slepless nights. And that’s what gets me down. This summer has been all business. Bizarro summer, if you will. With no big events to look forward to, things have been particularly dull.

If I can pack a summer’s worth of fun into the next week and a half, I’ll be happy. Otherwise, fall has a LOT to live up to.

Let’s see what happens!

things learned from watching bad movies #1

From Catch & Release:

Timothy Olyphant SEEMS good looking at first, but is really an odd-looking dude. It borders on creepy, depending on the lighting.

hello world!

this is my first post written from my iPhone. this could spell more blogging!

listening and hearing.

spending some quality time with my iPod tonight (before it gets pushed aside when my iPhone arrives), I’ve been subjected to an eerie number of songs that have proven to be relevant to what’s going on in my life. But the thing I’ve really noticed is how far away my John Mayer phase seems now. And I guess that’s a good thing, since the Heavier Things album was basically the soundtrack to the darkest period of my life so far (and judge that however you’d like to). My reaction to no longer knowing every word to Bigger Than My Body like I wrote it was at first surprise at my waning memory, but then a bit of happiness that I haven’t had to fall back on that in a really long time.

And that made me happy, something I need to notice far more than I currently do.

i never said i was normal.

So, after a long day of work, I decided to put my computer down (yeah, that lasted long) and curl up with a brand new book. But said book comes with a whole set of weird…stuff. For starters, it’s a comic (yeah yeah, graphic novel. Shut up. It’s still a comic. Seriously, how have COMIC BOOKS become involved in the whole politically correct euphemism thing?)

Maybe I’m going crazy, but this book feels like opening a door into a new world. Not, like, in the normal book sense. In a greater, my life, sense. I’ll admit it. I’ve scoffed at adults who read comics. So there’s that. And because it’s the favorite book of someone I’m starting to get to know, it’s like opening the cover and embarking on this wildly violent literary journey is like sidling up to someone and peeking inside their soul (seriously, I’m a writer. This is how we feel about our work), and I think that might be the thing I’m most scared of. That, and hating the book and my complete disdain for it coloring my opinion of this person who, as much as I try to fight it, is quite quickly becoming I want to spend time with.

And then, of course, I realize that sometimes a book is just a book. Maybe I should just shut the hell up and start reading already.

insomnia.

Still awake. The city is quiet, the day finally slowed to a crawl. Windows open, I hear the subway chimes. I wonder if you can hear them. And if you’re wondering the same thing about me.

boggled.

So, I graduated from university 6 years ago. I spent the first three years working a seasonal job and trying to figure out how to get my butt to the United States to pursue my life-long goal of becoming a TV writer. Ahem, a TV writer on a show that more than 50 people watch. And why, when I use phrases like “life-long goal” do I feel like I’m a contestant for Miss America?

ANYWAY, I couldn’t figure out how to do it (my only option was going to get my Master’s degree, and the money fell through for that), and I ended up in advertising, which I’ve been doing for a little over two years (plus the year I spent in school). And, as of late, the writing bug has come back, nagging at me to get a move on with this dream.

But I still can’t figure out how to work legally in the States. I guess I could sort of possibly (it’s a real grey area) do freelance writing for Canadian clients from the states. The internet is a wonderful thing. But I’m not sure that would bring in enough bank to cover expenses AND allow me the time to work on the TV writing stuff/being an intern or PA. And even then, I have to bank on getting on a show that’s willing to pay to sponsor me — might be a tough call in a city of waiters who are waiting for the same break I am.

They always say, where there’s a will, there’s a way. But in more than three years of looking, I haven’t been able to find that way. Unless I find a sweet American boy who’ll marry me (and I’m not sure that will happen any time soon), I think I’m up a creek. And that’s so upsetting that I’ve just given myself a migraine.

I HATE THIS. This, of course, being my life right now. I’ve got nothing to be happy about right now, and I just want to stay in bed for a few weeks. Maybe I can convince my doctor to let me do that when I go see her next week.

BLERGH.